Archive for January, 2010

The Vulva 340 files: Case closed

Monday, January 18th, 2010

If you read Car magazine ( you may be familiar with the Volvo 340 I saved from certain death. It had been languishing in a pay-and-display carpark…..for 14 months. The Police wanted it gone. Vandals raped it of badges, aerial and rear light cluster. Like one of those mad women who devote their lives to saving lame Donkeys or amputee Tortoises, I wanted to nurse it and give it another shot at life. Two weeks later it was on the drive, V5 in my name, new rear light fresh from the scrap yard and starting on the button (so long as you remembered to tug out the choke).

volvo arse lowered

As of yesterday, it now lives at the hands of an 18-year old in Kent who thinks he can drift. I stuck it up for sale just before the Detroit motorshow, having seen a peach of Mercedes w124 estate for sale. I miss my old Merc wagons and although a 2-door rear drive Vulva is more fun than people think (especially when the suspension has been stiffened) it’s just not the same as Mercedes W124.In the next 48 hours a 320TE will grace the driveway where the cheeky red 1 previous owner base model 340 sat.

My Auntie and Uncle had three 300 series Volvos, the last of which was an immaculate 360 GLT. I suppose you could say that Etch-Sketch dashboard and reverse lift collar on the gear knob got me nostalgically dewy eyed. I’ll have another, and next time it will probably have a Williams Clio 16v engine under the front hinged bonnet. So long my Swedish sweet-heart.